Recently, I read a story about Booker T. Washington that somewhat captures the essence of this post. Mr. Washington was well regarded by many, advised Presidents, and even shared time with the Queen. He was obviously influential and well known. Yet, as the story goes, he found himself at a hotel and mistaken for a staff member by another guest. The lady asked Mr. Washington to get her a glass of water. Not only did he oblige, but once delivered, he asked her if she needed anything else. I’m not sure of this, but I wonder if he found himself feeling both helpful and slightly amused at the same time. Booker T. Washington was said to be both humble and incredibly humorous. If this story is true, it really captures both elements. I mean, to be humble, sometimes you have to be willing to not take yourself so seriously and find humor in circumstances. There are more than a few leaders out there that would have had a much different response to that mistaken identity. 

While I’m certainly nowhere near the level of influence and fame as Booker T. Washington, I’ve been in numerous situations in a work context where people had no idea who I was or the position I held in the company. One day I walked into one of our offices and we had a new receptionist. She didn’t know who I was. And we have a pretty strict security/sign in protocol to get in. She made me go through the entire process, find an escort, get a visitor badge; I mean the whole nine yards. I complied. In fact, was impressed. She was new and following all the proper protocols. After finally getting through, someone went up to her and told her who I was. Her response was awesome…” So? He still needs to go through the process.” YUP! 

I’m not sharing this for any type of pat on the back. To be honest, I would have felt really dumb stopping her process to say, “Uh, hey, do you know who I am?” How pretentious! I do not like to just blurt out to people that I’m a CEO. In fact, there have been numerous times when I’d walk into meetings, especially as an early 30s CEO, that I didn’t introduce myself as such until the meeting started. Funny, you learn a lot about authenticity in some of those moments.  I’d often learn who were nice to pretty much everyone regardless of title, and who thought they were the big shots. 

Over time, I’ve grown to have a distain for abundant arrogance and a huge appreciation for humility. If you’re reading this as an aspiring leader, or are already amid that journey, the virtue of humility should be a core pursuit. It’s one of the greatest, most treasured virtues of leadership. If for nothing else, humility in leadership is a tremendous benefit in the workforce. In fact, according to an article on Forbes.com called “13 Habits of Humble People,” a study revealed that companies with humble leadership had a more engaged workforce and less employee turnover.

This is advice I give many, but especially anyone in line for a promotion: The “higher” you go in an organization, the humbler you must be. Humility is one of the most powerful and impactful virtues of leadership there is. It’s certainly not the only trait of good leadership; there are many, but I am hard pressed to think of any more powerful than humility. And the higher you go, and the more responsibilities you have, its importance is even more evident. Humility can literally be a life changer. Not for your life, but for others. 

There’s a popular story in the Bible about a woman with a long-term bleeding problem. She had suffered with this issue for 12 years and no doubt had exhausted her time, money, and patience trying to find a solution. On the other side of the story, there was Jesus. Everywhere he went he drew crowds. People would climb in trees, hike up mountain sides, and cross seas just to catch a glimpse of him or hear him speak. Two very contrary people and situations. One is lost in obscurity with no one willing or able to help. The other, a man with a following of thousands upon thousands. The women, with no other hope, stoops as low as she can, figuratively and literally, to simply fight for a chance to touch the outer garment of the man everyone has been talking about. Not talk to him, or even to be seen, just one small touch of his garment. After fighting through the crowd, in the dirt and dust, she accomplished her goal. With all the commotion around Jesus, he feels her touch – physically and/or spiritually. He stops and turns around. 

Now, can you imagine today a high-level CEO, Dr., politician, or pastor in a time where people won’t even respond to PMs, DMs, and Tweets, stopping what they are doing to turn around or really give any notice? Far too many of us in leadership only have time for those on the same level. How lame. In this story, we find the most popular person in the region surrounded by people with commotion all around him, stopping for someone who touched his robe. The result? A life changed forever.

Whether you believe in Jesus or not, the principle of such humility is rare. And I wonder, what sort of things could we accomplish as business leaders, political leaders, coaches, pastors, or teachers, if we chose to live with that mindset? The mindset of making our lives about others. The mindset of stopping and showing care for the meek. The mindset of serving first. These are major characteristics of the virtue of humility. It’s not making less of us necessarily but making so much more of others. 

This is something I struggled with while establishing my leadership habits, especially early on. Balancing and distinguishing between humility and self-esteem can get a little blurry. I want to make a point here about what is not as obvious as it should be. Low self-esteem is not humility. Low self-confidence is not humility. If you’re a leader and you have chronic low self-esteem, let me be clear, people will eat you up. That’s a harsh reality, but like a dog smelling fear, people do the same thing. It could be direct reports, it could be the competition, or just others in the industry. Self-esteem issues show up and there are a lot of people who would absolutely love to take advantage of that. Don’t freak out. This isn’t something you are alone in facing. I’ve felt with incredibly low self-esteem and self-confidence. Even now, a constant battle for me is anxiety, stress, and worry. And frankly, many other leaders feel the same way and struggle with the same sort of insecurities. If you think someone doesn’t, it’s probably because they are faking it :). Just google it. 

This “feeling” is often referred to as the “Imposter Syndrome.” A good article on it can be found at https://www.entrepreneur.com/slideshow/345415, “10 Successful Leaders Share Their Struggles with Imposter Syndrome and How to Overcome it.” Low self-esteem, doubt, and concern are not unusual in leadership; in fact, it’s common. You can and you will overcome it with practice, commitment, and a ton of humility. In the process of developing into a better leader, eventually, it is easier to distinguish between low self-esteem and humility. 

It’s an important distinction. Humility, in contrast to low self-esteem, is a foundational requirement to great leadership.  For as much as leaders with low self-esteem get ate up, leaders with a humble spirit get respected. Why? Because humility isn’t about putting yourself down, it’s about lifting others up and people eat that up (vs. eating you up). And let me tell you, that is what changes organizations, cities, countries, and the world. Humility is a powerful connector of humanity. Without connection, without humility, our empires, our companies…you name it, they fall. 

Let’s just explore a relevant topic now, for example – politics. One could make the argument that you can see the power of humility when there is an absence of it. Can we see not see the lack of humility in Washington D.C.? If I were to put a list of accomplishments from President Trump in here, my hunch is about 50% of people would stop reading and never visit this page again. Little to no interest in hearing it. Why is that, do you suppose? I firmly believe his bodacious lack of humility and over the top arrogance is a huge distraction and detractor from any positive accomplishments during his administration. It’s not just President Trump though, he is but one example of many in D.C. This is a problem amongst so many of our political influencers. And it’s a problem amongst leaders of all types. 

If humility is a great connector, what is a great divider? It’s pride and arrogance. Pride is a great separator. Pride is the antithesis of humility. Pride is like a virus that attacks the weak and kills our spirit. It separated Lucifer from God. It separates us from leadership. Pride blocks any sort of deep connection needed in leadership.  How connected will we be with our team if we refuse to take advice? How connected can we be with the people we lead if our pride prevents us from listening to them? Without interpersonal connection, in the long run, the leader is rendered useless and has little credibility and loyalty. Embrace pride and eschew humility at your own risk. Such a tactic eventually catches up. Read Luke 14:11 in the Bible. 

I’m convinced that the pathway to a reconciled future must be constructed with humility. Whether we are healing a country, turning around a business, or leading a healthy business, start and end with humility. 

How then do we become humble? Humility, like anything else, is more natural to some than others. Some people are naturally skinny, others not so much (that’s me) and need to eat clean, work out, and commit to a healthy lifestyle more. Same concept for humility. For some, the virtue comes easier and for others, humility takes work. For me, I have to work at it! Here are a just a few quick thoughts on how to stay humble, or pursue it. 

1. Perspective. 

The first part of this might sound negative, but it’s not. I’m grateful for this leadership opportunity; however, my perspective is that on any given day it could be over. Who I am can’t be wrapped up into what I do. I could literally walk in the office and the board of directors could send me packing. I’m not wrapped up in some crazy idea that I’m somehow untouchable, or too high, or anything of that nature. We’ve had a lot of success over the last few years. I’m still expendable and work in a “what have you done for me lately environment.” Past successes are what they are…in the past. I’m constantly subject to the ownership’s interest in my service. Certainly, don’t walk in everyday thinking that will happen. 😊 That’d be depressing. But I do know that the possibility exists. So, for me, I work hard, pursue excellence, and enjoy the moments I do have. When I step back and think about it, I’m grateful to have this opportunity. I’ve met some incredible people and gained some incredible experiences, and I’m very thankful for that. No matter what happens, I can look back on all this with fondness and appreciation. However, my being here is dependent on a group of people wanting me here. This is what I do; not who I am. I don’t wrap my identity in who I am into the position that I fill. If I did and the position was gone tomorrow, who would I be? 

No matter what you are doing in life; sports, leadership, education, or anything else, a healthy perspective of reality is a great tool to get or stay humble. There’s always someone better. Always. And we’re far more dependent on others than we realize. Perspective.

• Gratitude.

Every day we are alive is something to be thankful for. Relationships are a gift to be thankful for. Having a job is a gift, especially now days. So many are struggling. Even our trials are gifts to us. Trials make us stronger and more aware. Too often we think we are the reason for so many things around us. Truth is, we aren’t. Gratitude is recognition that we have something to be thankful for. Not that we “deserve” anything, but that we receive something and stop for a minute and just say, “Wow, thank you.” There’s a note somewhere that says thankfulness is an act and gratitude is a feeling. Humility is very much connected to gratitude since we are acknowledging and showing gratefulness for things we have, not what we don’t have; for who we are, not who we are not. 

• Curiosity.

Kobe Bryant was one of the greatest basketball players to ever play. In his book, “The Mamba Mentality,” he devotes a large portion to being curious, inquisitive, and asking questions. He’ll say he wasn’t the fastest person in the gym. He suggests he can’t jump the highest. For Kobe, he had to train harder and get smarter to make it. Part of his process was asking questions…all the time to anyone. 

Being curious is an acknowledgement that we don’t know everything. And that’s ok. As a leader, you don’t have to know everything. We hire experts and listen to them. By being curious, we can learn more about processes in the business, we can learn more about people’s back stories, and learn more about our customers. The more we learn about others, the more we sit back and appreciate them. We get to recognize their talents, their trials, and take note about what really matters to them. The more we do so, the easier it is to make our lives and leadership about others. 

So, ask questions, be curious, and learn more.

• Listen and Learn.

There are more than a few out there that know how smart they are and in meetings, they make sure you know it, hear it, and acknowledge it. Unfortunately, with those folks, there is no room for other opinions, ideas, or thoughts. It’s as much arrogance and confidence. Why? Because there is no way those opinions, ideas, or thoughts are as good as theirs as they see it! Those meetings are dominated by the talker. Over time, meetings become less and less productive. People feel less valued and very much overlooked. And often, the participants get to a point they don’t even prepare. 

Understand that as a leader, your presence alone largely impacts meeting. Instead of dominating the meetings with talking more, successful leaders listen. There are always times where your voice needs heard. As a leader, those will absolutely come, no reason to force it. Most of time, however, the team needs you to listen and learn what’s going on. How else will you know the resources they need? Or the challenges they face? We might find that maybe we weren’t leading as good as we thought we were when we are open to listening. 😊

• Explore.

This one is especially fun. Exploring reminds us of how small we are. When we see ourselves through the lens of expanse, we can’t help but recognize our place in this world. The more we get out and see and do, the better connection we develop with humanity and nature. We see with our own eyes the wonder and awe of this world. Exploration is a great leveler. Whether your exploring a mountain side and looking at the vast expanse of humanity or traveling to a new country and meeting new people – it’s a sense of awe and acknowledgement that there is so much more to the world than us. For me, I often think, “and He saw fit to allow me to see it.” When we explore we also see first hand how much need there is in the world for humility, dreams, passion, compassion, giving, and hope. 

What then, is humility?  

• Humility is one of the best athletes in the world working tirelessly on his or craft. Hours and hours of blood, sweat, and tears.  
• It’s is the dad in a wheelchair, worshiping and being grateful regardless of his circumstance. 
• Is my father in a powerplant every day for 30 plus years so his kids did not have to if they didn’t want to. 
• Humility is the leader who faced with a choice of cynicism and empathy, chooses the latter.
• The humble warrior is bloodied and bruised from battle yet willing to lay down his life for his brother.
• Humble is the meek soul, ok with obscurity but in awe of grace, reaches out just so.
• Humble is the Captain unable to celebrate with the crew, to which they say, “Oh Captain, My Captain.” 
• Humility is the leader who knows himself or herself for the emails and letters they didn’t send as much as the letters they did send.
• It is the person that has only a little, but in the air they breathe, have everything.
• Humility is the person during the greatest adversities, showing the will to face their last full measure for others.
• It’s in the person willing to do small things in a great way. 

Humility is not reserved for the poor. Nor is it reserved for or impossible for the rich. Living for others can happen at any level. It’s a process, lifestyle, and mindset. Living humbly takes constant pursuit of perspective. The point to which we say, “I’m now humble” is the point to which we know we are not. Therefore, humility is not an end state. To end is only to begin again. It is a daily focus. A daily commitment. A yearning. The way to success is waking up and realizing how small we are and how great He is. It’s understanding that we can only take life as we get it and feel grateful and thankful for that no matter what it looks like. 

There is a doorway to your greatest triumphs as a leader. Above it says “Humility.” Go in.