The Struggle Bus

My wife, Stephanie, uses a phrase when describing people who are struggling with something. She’ll say, “Whew, the struggle bus is real today.” I used this phrase in a town hall talk I gave not long ago. Leadership transparency and authenticity are important, and the town hall meeting was a perfect venue to be transparent about my ride on the struggle bus. Why? Because it exists and talking about mental health is not just ok, but vital. 

The Problem (Areas):

When I first started researching and planning for this post, I approached it with the angle of the problem. Singular. For example, the problem is, or the hypothesis is, we have a mental health concern in the United States. As I looked into it, I formed some additional questions. For whom is mental health a concern? Does the problem just centralize around veterans? What about teachers, CEOs, pastors, and entrepreneurs? And does it look the same for all of them? Is the source of the problem burn-out, expectation gap, PTSD, degradation of morality, something else, or a combination of factors? And lastly, are mental health problems starting at a younger age? Because this site focuses on business and leadership, I won’t address the last question in a big way, but someone should unpack that. I’m not an expert in this area in general. I’m writing more as a concerned individual than a subject matter expert. 

Some interesting (concerning) data:

• The suicide rate is higher for veterans than for non-veteran suicide. Veteran suicides are at 31.7 per 100,000 people in 2021 (23.3 in 2001) compared to 16.1 per 100,000 in 2021 (12.6 in 2001) for non-veterans. On average, in the US there are about 121 suicides per day (in 2020) with veterans specifically accounting for about 16.8 per day (2020). https://www.mentalhealth.va.gov/docs/data-sheets/2022/2022-National-Veteran-Suicide-Prevention-Annual-Report-FINAL-508.pdf

• 70% of pastors say they have a lower self-image now than when they first started. 80% who enter ministry leave within five years. Book: Leadership Pain, 2015, Samuel Chand

• About half of CEO surveyed report some level of mental health concern. 100% report stress-related issues. 72% of entrepreneurs reported at least one significant mental health-related issue. The following link has more information on this: https://caldaclinic.com/the-truth-about-the-mental-health-of-ceos/ 

• About 44% of teachers in K-12 report feeling burned out by the job. https://research.com/education/teacher-burnout-challenges-in-k-12-and-higher-education

• “A 2018 research exercise showed that the average person in Britain had 554 friends online, but only five true and close friends.” Excerpt from Morality by Johnathan Sacks. https://books.apple.com/us/book/morality/id1496572788

• “46 percent more fifteen- to nineteen-year-olds committed suicide in 2015 than in 2007, and two and a half times more twelve- to fourteen-year-olds killed themselves.” Excerpt from Morality by Johnathan Sacks. https://books.apple.com/us/book/morality/id1496572788. Sacks keyed in on 2012 as the biggest trigger point – about the time smartphones were reaching their peak. 

All Our Issue:

The data indicates we have a problem and that it is not getting better, but worse. An interesting study showed that spending on mental health crises has increased tremendously over the last 15 years. The report also showed that business has suffered billions of lost productivity due to mental health. 

In every case, when a veteran, CEO, teacher, pastor, or child has a mental health issue, it significantly impacts the people around them. Not long ago, I went through a bit of a mental struggle. It’s not super unusual for me to have some anxiety issues. It’s pretty low level and often, we sort of laugh about it. Those issues are not unusual and nothing of concern. However, every few years I run into a wall and Steph finally looked at me and said, you need to talk to someone. So I did. 

I have had COVID a couple of times. Nothing significant. Pressed through with some sniffles and loss of smell/taste and moved on. The last time wasn’t like that. I was coming off a lot of travel, a busy summer, and some heavy work stress. I had a physical concern that I convinced myself was something more than it was (after getting checked out, it was nothing…literally nothing). Overall, I was physically and mentally exhausted and I didn’t even know it. So from a timing perspective, getting COVID and another virus at the same time was just not ideal. My body crashed and it kicked off a mental hiccup causing two panic attacks over a few days. The mental impact of getting sick was worse than the physical. 

In those situations, illogical thoughts become logical. Lies feel like truth. 10-foot ceilings feel like six-foot ceilings. A simple act of walking into a cafe and having to talk to someone feels like standing on loose rocks atop a cliff. You fear the fact that you might have a panic attack and because you can’t predict it, you get anxiety before one even happens. For some, this can get so powerful that at the moment, the person feels like it’ll never end and they will lose everything. The illogical becomes logical. The lies feel like the truth. 98% of the time, I’m good to go. The 2% of the time I’m mentally exhausted gives me a lot more empathy for those who run into that mental struggle far more than 2%. 

So What? Or How?

What helped me, and maybe it’ll help you, was following my wife’s advice and talking to someone. I didn’t even talk to a counselor. Instead, I spoke to two friends. They listened as if it mattered. And both gave helpful advice. The truth is, just talking about it for 10 minutes each helped tremendously. From that point forward, I was able to get back on track. 

During these short talks, I learned that even the strongest people I know have moments where they crash too. It doesn’t make us weak, or weird. Just normal. I also learned that we need to develop some tools and use information as power. Again, I’m not a subject matter expert and recommend you get real counseling if you need to break out of a mental health issue. I’m going to list out the tools that are helpful to me. 

• Information is Power: When you sprain your knee (physical), the knee needs treatment and most of the time, rest. If you continue to run on it, the knee will not heal. Even if you are not hurt, after you complete a marathon, you are physically exhausted. What do you need? Rest. We readily recognize that for injury or physical exhaustion, we need treatment and rest to heal and recover. Yet, we don’t consider we need the same things for our brains. Invisible wounds need diagnosis, treatment, and rest to heal. A sustained period of stress, like a mental marathon, requires rest and recovery. I recommend keeping the rest active and healthy. Not a couch and a bag of chips. 

• Small Victories: Dr. Huberman, an expert on the brain and hormones, indicates that small victories throughout the day help increase testosterone in the body. The reaction to consistent small wins is biologically beneficial. With the impacts of dopamine and testosterone release, a person physically and mentally begins to feel better, stronger, and sharper. This science is consistent with Admiral McRaven’s comments in his commencement speech when he said “If you want to change the world, start by making your bed.” If and when you are in a mental funk, start small. Tell yourself you are going to do a 10-minute workout; pushups and air squats, at 7 am right next to your bed. Get up, do it. Small victory. Commit to reading for 5 minutes during the day. Do it. Small victory. Believe it or not, each of these small victories is a small step to winning the battle in your mind. (Thanks Matt, love you, bro.)

• Gratitude: This isn’t always easy. Each day, even in a funk, find something to be thankful for. There is scientific proof that gratitude is beneficial to your mind and body. 

• Mind, Body, and Spirit: Being physically unhealthy impacts your mental health. We need to establish a better self-image. Connecting physical and mental health helps with that. I’m a big believer that you also need to be spiritually aware and active. Stay active physically. Stay sharp mentally. And stay committed spiritually. This is a life change, a way of life; not a passing phase. We will be far better prepared to handle the stressors of life, both memories, and future conflicts, by keeping our minds, bodies, and spirits healthy and aligned. 

With the decrease of true human connection today, and the economic and global issues around us, mental health concerns are more prevalent than they used to be. If you are struggling, start small, talk to someone, and stay committed to the path forward. You’ll be through it before you know it and stronger on the other side.