Instead of…

Perspective can be a prickly thing. As “they” say, things are how you look at them. At the beginning of my EOD journey, one of my fellow prospective EOD students told me, “We’ll both likely fail out. Most do.” Turns out, he was right…but just for him. My perspective was different. I made it through. He didn’t. What we say matters. How we say things matters. And how we approach conversations with ourselves and others matters.

Perspective and outlook are both powerful indicators and even predictors of success. Consider the old adage, those who say they can and those that say they can’t are both usually right. Sometimes, we just need to flip our mindset as we approach various aspects of our daily grind. This is something I need to remind myself of almost daily. As leaders, we often get the bad news or the issues to fix. Instead of looking at something the way you emotionally see it or allowing cynicism to creep in (it will), flip the script to a rational and positive framework. Here is a list of “instead” examples that we can consider each day or before meetings with our teams.

• Instead of looking to criticize, look to offer a solution or a fix.
• Instead of focusing on a subordinate’s mistakes or errors, focus on their potential.
• Instead of starting the conversation off with the answers, begin with listening and questions.
• Instead of doing what you think people want, do what you know the organization needs.
• Instead of forcing your opinion, seek to serve people instead. Soon, they’ll be asking for your opinion.
• Instead of conjecture, pursue facts and truth. Doing so removes bias and gets to the needed outcome.
• Instead of reacting, let issues breathe.
• Instead of finding reasons to blame someone, seek first reasons to grow someone.
• Instead of reacting with an internal perspective, focus on how the situation affects and impacts others.

None of these tactics should suggest we lose sight of accountability and standards. Nor do they mean we don’t point out where our groups need to improve. Candor is critical. So is respect and empathy. Even if we do all these things, there is no doubt we’ll find some of our teams on the wrong bus. As one person said, you just help them identify a new career path. That’s part of leading organizations. Doing so with a heart of empathy instead of bitterness is a step towards a positive and healthy organizational culture.

The critical takeaway is to constantly work out your leadership and develop healthy habits of positivity and focusing on the proper perspectives. Can we spend more time building up vs. tearing down? As I heard from a leader the other day, connection before correction. Before a situation arises that requires your participation, I encourage you to take 60 seconds and think through what your initial response might be and whether or not you need to apply an “Instead of” tactic.

Leave No Doubt.